i couldnt feel more bad.. yes, a phase to pass bt how many times can the same thing happen??
the first time...i thot it's just my first and its just fine.. (naming S)
the second time... i wanted to be known instead of told (naming c1)
the third tym... i was snubbed (naming c2)
and the fourth... i gave up !! (naming c3)
Yes, u hve got it right!! Dumped again ..
Its not that in any among the first three had a genuine interest.It ws all one sided. It ws just the fourth who did at one point of time..at the least i want to believe it was so and not faking it .. but somewhere i did not trust.. i wanted it,at the same time it showed signs of an on/off relationship...i dint want to take the risk.. Although the fourth took alot of time explaining it to me.. but but but... my previous experiences had made me too harsh to respond with alot of delay and much thinking..ALL FOR NOTHIN... by thn everything had faded and i ws approaching the EXTINCT!!
July 3rd ... c3 had come to my area for office purposes and after tht, rang me up to meet for coffee... I ws so excited jst to see the call that i felt bad that i hadnt treated for my appraisal and changed plans to a treat.. unknowing that we were meetin up to unwind a truth, which ofcourse i was not ready to accept... Alas!!, I had to hear them ... and they were
"Sana, i am seeing someone"
It nearly killed me.. in a split second,all expressions on my face changed.. all f a sudden i thot my face went paralysed ... I dint want my estranged love to see it... i had no choice but to keep a happy face asking whereabouts... I acted i was just fine.. not that i would cry infrnt f c3. Even if I did,my past expeiences had taught me not to (once at school, i was very hurt and i cried and Mr.S, apparently my best buddy sd "u look so ugly whn u cry"... WOW... like WOW... thts exactly smebdy in pain has to hear!!!!!) i wanted to come back and cry... scream out loud and cry..... JUST CRY... I tried .. all in vain !!
So today is d fourth day, turned on my almost over datacard to check youtube to listen to 'I wont give up' by Jason Mraz.The song ws not getting loaded,so chucked it and then with much try got FB only to see my first newsfeed,a pic of c3 closely holding this cute gal which I am certain of is the one.... I am just hurt but I cant cry. I wish i did. I thought if i scribble down my pain listening to 'Goodbye my lover' of John Mayer..I would be able to shed a tear. Again i am being proved wrong.
(To be continued ...)
the first time...i thot it's just my first and its just fine.. (naming S)
the second time... i wanted to be known instead of told (naming c1)
the third tym... i was snubbed (naming c2)
and the fourth... i gave up !! (naming c3)
Yes, u hve got it right!! Dumped again ..
Its not that in any among the first three had a genuine interest.It ws all one sided. It ws just the fourth who did at one point of time..at the least i want to believe it was so and not faking it .. but somewhere i did not trust.. i wanted it,at the same time it showed signs of an on/off relationship...i dint want to take the risk.. Although the fourth took alot of time explaining it to me.. but but but... my previous experiences had made me too harsh to respond with alot of delay and much thinking..ALL FOR NOTHIN... by thn everything had faded and i ws approaching the EXTINCT!!
July 3rd ... c3 had come to my area for office purposes and after tht, rang me up to meet for coffee... I ws so excited jst to see the call that i felt bad that i hadnt treated for my appraisal and changed plans to a treat.. unknowing that we were meetin up to unwind a truth, which ofcourse i was not ready to accept... Alas!!, I had to hear them ... and they were
"Sana, i am seeing someone"
It nearly killed me.. in a split second,all expressions on my face changed.. all f a sudden i thot my face went paralysed ... I dint want my estranged love to see it... i had no choice but to keep a happy face asking whereabouts... I acted i was just fine.. not that i would cry infrnt f c3. Even if I did,my past expeiences had taught me not to (once at school, i was very hurt and i cried and Mr.S, apparently my best buddy sd "u look so ugly whn u cry"... WOW... like WOW... thts exactly smebdy in pain has to hear!!!!!) i wanted to come back and cry... scream out loud and cry..... JUST CRY... I tried .. all in vain !!
So today is d fourth day, turned on my almost over datacard to check youtube to listen to 'I wont give up' by Jason Mraz.The song ws not getting loaded,so chucked it and then with much try got FB only to see my first newsfeed,a pic of c3 closely holding this cute gal which I am certain of is the one.... I am just hurt but I cant cry. I wish i did. I thought if i scribble down my pain listening to 'Goodbye my lover' of John Mayer..I would be able to shed a tear. Again i am being proved wrong.
(To be continued ...)
